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Picked this up off the dq-rules list ... thought it might raise a smile
Keith
>From: "Ran Hardin" <dantalion64@excite.com>
>X-Yahoo-Profile: kakashi64
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>Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 21:22:10 -0000
>Subject: [dq-rules] Humorous review of DQ magic
>Reply-To: dq-rules@yahoogroups.com
>
>Awhile back, I was catching up with an old, old=20
>friend who was part of our gaming group that=20
>played countless hours of DQ. We got to talking=20
>about the various spells in the game, and to=20
>what uses some of the more pedestrian spells=20
>could be put to. It was an enjoyable=20
>conversation, and it got me thinking about the=20
>DQ magic system. So, I sat down and read over=20
>the spells in some detail, and started taking=20
>some notes in reference to my long-dormant=20
>adventure setting, and re-familiarize myself=20
>with the magic system. This eventually morphed=20
>into a glib commentary on DQ magic written=20
>largely for my own amusement. There's a bit of=20
>serious commentary and occasional commentary on=20
>interesting uses for the spells amidst the=20
>japery -- just don't take it too seriously, or=20
>personally. The digs at the system are fond=20
>ones born out of a long-standing love of the=20
>game, and the power-gamer stuff is written for laughs.
>
>I recently dug this up, and decided to post it=20
>-- this group has been dormant for months, so=20
>what the hell, right? I'll post the first=20
>section, to see if there is actually any=20
>entertainment value and/or bases for more=20
>serious discussion. If there is, I'll post more in the coming days.
>
>And if there's nothing but chirping crickets, I'll know to stop :)
>
>
>We'll start with Rule 52: The College of Ensorcelments and Enchantments.
>
>It's clear that this college is a gesture to the=20
>99.9% of DQ players who had played D&D. If you=20
>really didn't like the rigid classification of=20
>the DQ magic system, you could still sort of=20
>play a D&D "magic-user" (and isn't "adept" a far more elegant term?).
>
>NOTE: I have a special section with some spells=20
>called "Demonic Fun." Since demons do=20
>everything at Rank 20, their magic abilities are=20
>particularly potent, sometimes humorously (and=20
>gruesomely) so. This section explores the many=20
>reasons why, when you encounter a demon, you should be very, very polite.
>
>T-1 . Witchsight
>A useful talent, this. You can see invisible=20
>things. Oddly, this also includes people who=20
>have Walking Unseen cast over them, which is=20
>specifically defined later on the same page as=20
>not being invisible. Eh =96 close enough for gubmint work, I guess.
>
>G-1. (Charm Person) Spell of Charming
>Here we go with the Spells of Reference. Would=20
>it really mess up the page layouts so badly they=20
>couldn't just reprint the text of the spell each=20
>time it occurs? Anyway, this spell can be a=20
>royal pain for a GM, especially if the player=20
>gets a few ranks under his belt so he can cast=20
>it from a considerable distance. However, a=20
>wily GM will keep track of exactly who the=20
>character has charmed (and likely abused in one=20
>way or another), making return visits to any particular locale interesting=
=85
>
>G-2. Spell of Telekinesis
>Again with the references... A good spell for=20
>swiping things, catching mice, or messing up=20
>precise alignments of magical paraphernalia.
>
>DEMONIC FUN: A demon can lift up to 102 pounds,=20
>or move a 2-pound object at up to 41=20
>MPH. Anyone care to approximate the damage you=20
>get from taking a 41 MPH brick to the face?
>
>G-3. (Sleep) Spell of Enchanted Sleep
>Yer standard RPG sleep spell. The Rank 10+=20
>version is great anesthesia for surgery.
>
>G-4. Spell of Walking Unseen
>I'm quite sure there have been at least 57,000=20
>discussions between DQ players over the years as=20
>to what the difference is between being=20
>magically Unseen and magically Invisible. I=20
>still don't know. If you're Invisible, then you=20
>can't be seen; if you're Walking Unseen, you=20
>just won't be seen. The end result is that you=20
>aren't seen. Why have separate spells? It=20
>seems that all detection spells and talents that=20
>can detect one can detect the other.
>
>G-5. Spell of Speaking to Enchanted Creatures
>Quite the versatile spell, as you can speak to=20
>any kind of magical creature. I once had an=20
>industrious (in other words, "full of crap")=20
>player try to convince me he should be able to=20
>write a Manticore translation book while under=20
>the effects of the spell. He wound up with a book full of entries like=
this:
>
>Road =3D growwwllllyarrrwwll
>Friend =3D Yargalgrowwll
>Peace =3D Groyarwwlllgrwwwl
>
>G-6. (Locate Object) Spell of Location
>Someone was being a cheeky little monkey=20
>here. C'mon =96 a "large glowing arrow?" Unless=20
>you're hunting for something in the middle of=20
>nowhere, this spell is more trouble than it's=20
>worth. Think about it: you're lolling around,=20
>hoisting a pint at your favorite tavern, and you=20
>see a couple of guys walk by following a large,=20
>glowing arrow. Wouldn't you get up and follow=20
>them? I house-ruled that the higher the Adept's=20
>rank with the spell, the smaller the arrow=20
>became, and at rank 5 it was small enough to=20
>"hide" in the palm of the Adept's hand.
>
>The wording of the spell is open to=20
>interpretation. "The Adept may determine the=20
>direction in which he will find any person or=20
>object=85" does this mean the arrow points=20
>directly in the direction of the object relative=20
>to the caster's position? Or the direction the=20
>caster must go to "find" the object?" In other=20
>words, does the arrow lead you through the maze,=20
>or merely point straight at the object?
>
>G-7. Spell of Mass Charming
>All I can say is that your last command had=20
>better be "ride as fast and far away from me as=20
>possible." Most people just don't like being controlled like that.
>
>G-8. Spell of Invisibility
>Now, should I cast Invisibility, or Walking=20
>Unseen=85? I suppose that technically, merely=20
>touching someone else does not break the Spell=20
>of Invisibility, since the description specifies=20
>an attack. If that's the only difference, then=20
>why would you ever cast Walking Unseen instead=20
>of Invisibility? I guess Walking Unseen has a=20
>much lower experience multiple, but still=85
>
>G-9. Evil Eye Spell
>The best thing about this spell is the=20
>duration. At higher ranks, you can really mess up someone's vacation.
>
>DEMONIC FUN: A demon casting this spell reduces=20
>the target's magic resistance and strike chance=20
>by 20, and the spell lasts for three weeks!
>
>Q-1. Ritual of Enchantment
>Quite the handy little ritual (don't leave home=20
>without it). Hint: if you are a Merchant who=20
>specializes in spices or magical paraphenalia,=20
>you can get a discount on the myrrh needed for=20
>this ritual. Seriously, even at low ranks, the=20
>effects of this ritual can be the difference=20
>between a failed spell and a back-breaking=20
>backfire. It has a very high BC and a low=20
>Experience Multiple (XM), and should be a mainstay in the E&E Adept's=
routine.
>
>Q-2. Ritual of Creating Crystal of Vision
>My E&E Adept had a projection-TV-size crystal=20
>for this ritual. So useful for spying on=20
>enemies. Merchant discount here? 1,000 SP is a=20
>bit stiff for 15 minutes worth of C-SPAN=85
>
>Q-3. Ritual of Creating Sleep Dust
>Who knows a ritual that costs way more than the=20
>end result is worth? I do! Seriously=85 if I got=20
>up to Rank-freakin'-10 with this ritual it would=20
>still cost me 5,000 SP to make one dose of sleep=20
>dust? Five thousand SP? Let's see what else 5,000 SP will get you:
> * Two fully-stocked, brand-new alchemist's labs
> * 10,000 arrows
> * 50 Two-handed swords
> * 20,000 sacks of grain
> * 34 evenings with a Rank 10 Courtesan, including gratuity
> * 10,000 pairs of mittens
> * Five warhorses
> * 25 suits of mail
> * 1 Upper deck obstructed view seat at Stones concert
>
>My house rule: knock a zero off all the relevant=20
>numbers. It's still expensive.
>
>Q-4. Ritual of Creating Poison Dust
>See above. Cheaper to hire an alchemist, and=20
>the damage is paltry. What's the point?
>
>S-1. Ventriloquism Spell
>A very useful spell, good for all kinds of=20
>subterfuge and misdirection (not to mention a=20
>killer "talking while drinking the glass of=20
>water" routine). Note from past experience:=20
>religious NPCs tend to get really ticked off=20
>when you use this spell to mimic the voice of=20
>their god, and order them to do stuff for you.
>
>S-2. (Magic Missile) Bolt of Energy Spell
>Damage is good. Damage is your friend. High=20
>BC, low XM, damage not absorbed by normal armor. Sweet.
>
>S-3. (Knock Spell) Spell of Opening
>Another useful spell, sure to cheese off the=20
>thief or spy in your party. ("You're stepping on=20
>my niche, man!") I house-ruled that you can't=20
>undo a Mage Lock of a rank higher than the Adept's rank with this spell.
>
>S-4. Spell of Enchanting Weapon
>More handy stuff.
>
>DEMONIC FUN: A demon casting this spell on a=20
>two-handed sword gets you a weapon with a=20
>starting BC of 75 doing D+14 damage. The=20
>enchantment lasts for a minimum of 6 minutes and 40 seconds (or 80 pulses).
>
>S-5. Web of Entanglement Spell
>It's a bummer this spell has a duration of=20
>concentration, but besides that it's great fun=20
>at parties, especially ones you're in a hurry to leave.
>
>S-6. (Hold Portal) Mage Lock Spell
>This spell tends to discourage pursuit. It's=20
>also useful for overriding the trigger mechanism for a trap door.
>
>S-7. Spell of Enhancing Enchantment
>I never saw much use for this spell=20
>before. However, since you can affect damage=20
>with it, it seems quite handy to throw this on top of S-4.
>
>DEMONIC FUN: When combined with S-4, the=20
>two-handed sword previously enchanted could do=20
>+34 damage for 22 pulses. Bring on the dragons, baby.
>
>S-8. Spell of Levitation
>Opinions wanted: is the levitated person=20
>considered to be weightless? In other words,=20
>can you drag him along like a Macy's parade=20
>float, and can he be torn from your grasp by a gust of wind?
>
>S-9. Spell of Enchanting Armor
>I guess I don't understand why this can only be=20
>cast upon armor. What's the difference between=20
>a quilted gambeson and a nice angora=20
>sweater? (I know, I know, it's the=20
>symbio-empathic nature of sorcerous magic, blah blah meow meow=85)
>
>S-10. Wizard's Eye Spell
>Does anyone else find this funny? "The eye[=85]=20
>operates as would any normal eye except that it=20
>is not attached to the Adept physically." Yes,=20
>except for that one minor detail, it operates=20
>just like a normal eye. Does this mean that if=20
>you poke it or blow dust at it, it can't see for awhile?
>
>S-11. Spell of Slowness
>Fun to cast on someone who's got a ritual timed=20
>to conclude at midnight on a portentous=20
>day. How big a thing can you cast this spell=20
>on? An ogre? A dragon? The Worm=20
>Ouroboros? Maybe there should be some kind of=20
>size/Rank breakdown: Rank 0-4, human-sized or=20
>smaller; rank 5-10, up to 3-hex monster, etc.
>
>S-12 Spell of Quickness
>Most fun when cast on your friends directly=20
>after you've hit your enemies with a Spell of Slowness.
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<br>
Picked this up off the dq-rules list ... thought it might raise a
smile<br><br>
Keith<br>
<br><br>
<blockquote type=3Dcite class=3Dcite cite=3D"">From: "Ran Hardin"
<dantalion64@excite.com><br>
X-Yahoo-Profile: kakashi64<br>
Sender: dq-rules@yahoogroups.com<br>
Mailing-List: list dq-rules@yahoogroups.com; contact
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List-Id: <dq-rules.yahoogroups.com><br>
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Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 21:22:10 -0000<br>
Subject: [dq-rules] Humorous review of DQ magic<br>
Reply-To: dq-rules@yahoogroups.com<br><br>
Awhile back, I was catching up with an old, old friend who was part of
our gaming group that played countless hours of DQ. We got to
talking about the various spells in the game, and to what uses some of
the more pedestrian spells could be put to. It was an enjoyable
conversation, and it got me thinking about the DQ magic system. So,
I sat down and read over the spells in some detail, and started taking
some notes in reference to my long-dormant adventure setting, and
re-familiarize myself with the magic system. This eventually
morphed into a glib commentary on DQ magic written largely for my own
amusement. There's a bit of serious commentary and occasional
commentary on interesting uses for the spells amidst the japery -- just
don't take it too seriously, or personally. The digs at the system
are fond ones born out of a long-standing love of the game, and the
power-gamer stuff is written for laughs.<br><br>
I recently dug this up, and decided to post it -- this group has been
dormant for months, so what the hell, right? I'll post the first
section, to see if there is actually any entertainment value and/or bases
for more serious discussion. If there is, I'll post more in the
coming days.<br><br>
And if there's nothing but chirping crickets, I'll know to stop
:)<br><br>
<br>
We'll start with <b>Rule 52: The College of Ensorcelments and
Enchantments.<br>
</b><br>
It's clear that this college is a gesture to the 99.9% of DQ players who
had played D&D. If you really didn't like the rigid
classification of the DQ magic system, you could still sort of play a
D&D "magic-user" (and isn't "adept" a far more
elegant term?).<br><br>
NOTE: I have a special section with some spells called
"Demonic Fun." Since demons do everything at Rank 20,
their magic abilities are particularly potent, sometimes humorously (and
gruesomely) so. This section explores the many reasons why, when
you encounter a demon, you should be very, very polite.<br><br>
<b>T-1 . Witchsight</b><br>
A useful talent, this. You can see invisible things. Oddly,
this also includes people who have Walking Unseen cast over them, which
is specifically defined later on the same page as <i>not</i> being
invisible. Eh =96 close enough for gubmint work, I guess.<br><br>
<b>G-1. (Charm Person) Spell of Charming</b><br>
Here we go with the Spells of Reference. Would it really mess up
the page layouts so badly they couldn't just reprint the text of the
spell each time it occurs? Anyway, this spell can be a royal pain
for a GM, especially if the player gets a few ranks under his belt so he
can cast it from a considerable distance. However, a wily GM will
keep track of exactly who the character has charmed (and likely abused in
one way or another), making return visits to any particular locale
interesting=85<br><br>
<b>G-2. Spell of Telekinesis</b><br>
Again with the references... A good spell for swiping things,
catching mice, or messing up precise alignments of magical
paraphernalia.<br><br>
DEMONIC FUN: A demon can lift up to 102 pounds, or move a 2-pound object
at up to 41 MPH. Anyone care to approximate the damage you get from
taking a 41 MPH brick to the face?<br><br>
<b>G-3. (Sleep) Spell of Enchanted Sleep<br>
</b>Yer standard RPG sleep spell. The Rank 10+ version is great
anesthesia for surgery.<br><br>
<b>G-4. Spell of Walking Unseen</b><br>
I'm quite sure there have been at least 57,000 discussions between DQ
players over the years as to what the difference is between being
magically Unseen and magically Invisible. I still don't know.
If you're Invisible, then you <i>can't</i> be seen; if you're Walking
Unseen, you just <i>won't</i> be seen. The end result is that you
aren't seen. Why have separate spells? It seems that all
detection spells and talents that can detect one can detect the
other. <br><br>
<b>G-5. Spell of Speaking to Enchanted Creatures</b><br>
Quite the versatile spell, as you can speak to any kind of magical
creature. I once had an industrious (in other words, "full of
crap") player try to convince me he should be able to write a
Manticore translation book while under the effects of the spell. He
wound up with a book full of entries like this:<br><br>
Road =3D growwwllllyarrrwwll<br>
Friend =3D Yargalgrowwll<br>
Peace =3D Groyarwwlllgrwwwl<br><br>
<b>G-6. (Locate Object) Spell of Location</b><br>
Someone was being a cheeky little monkey here. C'mon =96 a
"large glowing arrow?" Unless you're hunting for
something in the middle of nowhere, this spell is more trouble than it's
worth. Think about it: you're lolling around, hoisting a pint at
your favorite tavern, and you see a couple of guys walk by following a
large, glowing arrow. Wouldn't you get up and follow them? I
house-ruled that the higher the Adept's rank with the spell, the smaller
the arrow became, and at rank 5 it was small enough to "hide"
in the palm of the Adept's hand.<br><br>
The wording of the spell is open to interpretation. "The Adept
may determine the direction in which he will find any person or
object=85" does this mean the arrow points directly in the direction
of the object relative to the caster's position? Or the direction
the caster must go to "find" the object?" In other
words, does the arrow lead you through the maze, or merely point straight
at the object?<br><br>
<b>G-7. Spell of Mass Charming <br>
</b>All I can say is that your last command had better be "ride as
fast and far away from me as possible." Most people just don't
like being controlled like that.<br><br>
<b>G-8. Spell of Invisibility</b><br>
Now, should I cast Invisibility, or Walking Unseen=85? I suppose that
technically, merely touching someone else does not break the Spell of
Invisibility, since the description specifies an attack. If that's
the only difference, then why would you ever cast Walking Unseen instead
of Invisibility? I guess Walking Unseen has a much lower experience
multiple, but still=85<br><br>
<b>G-9. Evil Eye Spell</b><br>
The best thing about this spell is the duration. At higher ranks,
you can really mess up someone's vacation.<br><br>
DEMONIC FUN: A demon casting this spell reduces the target's magic
resistance and strike chance by 20, and the spell lasts for three
weeks!<br><br>
<b>Q-1. Ritual of Enchantment</b><br>
Quite the handy little ritual (don't leave home without it). Hint:
if you are a Merchant who specializes in spices or magical paraphenalia,
you can get a discount on the myrrh needed for this ritual.
Seriously, even at low ranks, the effects of this ritual can be the
difference between a failed spell and a back-breaking backfire. It
has a very high BC and a low Experience Multiple (XM), and should be a
mainstay in the E&E Adept's routine.<br><br>
<b>Q-2. Ritual of Creating Crystal of Vision</b><br>
My E&E Adept had a projection-TV-size crystal for this ritual.
So useful for spying on enemies. Merchant discount here? 1,000 SP
is a bit stiff for 15 minutes worth of C-SPAN=85<br><br>
<b>Q-3. Ritual of Creating Sleep Dust</b><br>
Who knows a ritual that costs way more than the end result is
worth? I do! Seriously=85 if I got up to Rank-freakin'-10 with
this ritual it would still cost me 5,000 SP to make one dose of sleep
dust? <i>Five thousand</i> SP? Let's see what else 5,000 SP
will get you:
<ul>
<li><i>Two</i> fully-stocked, brand-new alchemist's labs=20
<li>10,000 arrows=20
<li>50 Two-handed swords=20
<li>20,000 sacks of grain=20
<li>34 evenings with a Rank 10 Courtesan, including gratuity=20
<li>10,000 pairs of mittens=20
<li>Five warhorses=20
<li>25 suits of mail=20
<li>1 Upper deck obstructed view seat at Stones concert
</ul><br>
My house rule: knock a zero off all the relevant numbers. It's
still expensive.<br><br>
<b>Q-4. Ritual of Creating Poison Dust</b><br>
See above. Cheaper to hire an alchemist, and the damage is
paltry. What's the point?<br><br>
<b>S-1. Ventriloquism Spell</b><br>
A very useful spell, good for all kinds of subterfuge and misdirection
(not to mention a killer "talking while drinking the glass of
water" routine). Note from past experience: religious NPCs
tend to get really ticked off when you use this spell to mimic the voice
of their god, and order them to do stuff for you.<br><br>
<b>S-2. (Magic Missile) Bolt of Energy Spell</b><br>
Damage is good. Damage is your friend. High BC, low XM,
damage not absorbed by normal armor. Sweet.<br><br>
<b>S-3. (Knock Spell) Spell of Opening</b><br>
Another useful spell, sure to cheese off the thief or spy in your party.
("You're stepping on my niche, man!") I house-ruled that
you can't undo a Mage Lock of a rank higher than the Adept's rank with
this spell.<br><br>
<b>S-4. Spell of Enchanting Weapon</b> <br>
More handy stuff.<br><br>
DEMONIC FUN: A demon casting this spell on a two-handed sword gets you a
weapon with a starting BC of 75 doing D+14 damage. The enchantment
lasts for a minimum of 6 minutes and 40 seconds (or 80 pulses).<br><br>
<b>S-5. Web of Entanglement Spell</b><br>
It's a bummer this spell has a duration of concentration, but besides
that it's great fun at parties, especially ones you're in a hurry to
leave. <br><br>
<b>S-6. (Hold Portal) Mage Lock Spell</b><br>
This spell tends to discourage pursuit. It's also useful for
overriding the trigger mechanism for a trap door.<br><br>
<b>S-7. Spell of Enhancing Enchantment</b><br>
I never saw much use for this spell before. However, since you can
affect damage with it, it seems quite handy to throw this on top of
S-4.<br><br>
DEMONIC FUN: When combined with S-4, the two-handed sword previously
enchanted could do +34 damage for 22 pulses. Bring on the dragons,
baby.<br><br>
<b>S-8. Spell of Levitation<br>
</b>Opinions wanted: is the levitated person considered to be
weightless? In other words, can you drag him along like a Macy's
parade float, and can he be torn from your grasp by a gust of
wind?<br><br>
<b>S-9. Spell of Enchanting Armor</b><br>
I guess I don't understand why this can only be cast upon armor.
What's the difference between a quilted gambeson and a nice angora
sweater? (I know, I know, it's the symbio-empathic nature of
sorcerous magic, blah blah meow meow=85)<br><br>
<b>S-10. Wizard's Eye Spell</b><br>
Does anyone else find this funny? "The eye[=85] operates as
would any normal eye except that it is not attached to the Adept
physically." Yes, except for that <i>one minor detail</i>, it
operates <i>just</i> like a normal eye. Does this mean that if you
poke it or blow dust at it, it can't see for awhile?<br><br>
<b>S-11. Spell of Slowness</b><br>
Fun to cast on someone who's got a ritual timed to conclude at midnight
on a portentous day. How big a thing can you cast this spell
on? An ogre? A dragon? The Worm Ouroboros? Maybe
there should be some kind of size/Rank breakdown: Rank 0-4, human-sized
or smaller; rank 5-10, up to 3-hex monster, etc.<br><br>
<b>S-12 Spell of Quickness</b><br>
Most fun when cast on your friends directly after you've hit your enemies
with a Spell of Slowness.<br>
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